Sleep
by punkyt0ast3r
Summary: Memories...They haunt her. He'll always be there to fight them off. Self-harm. Drabble


Memories...They haunt her. He'll always be there to fight them off. Self-harm. Drabble.

Author's Note: If you're reading this, then I want to apologize because it is 2am and my beta reader isn't around. It was a quick one-shot that I needed to get out.  
As for my "followers", I know you're waiting for me to update my other fic…and I'm trying… I'M TRYING! but… my muse is gone so please, be patient. I may edit this at a later time but criticism is welcome~

**We really need more Ryuki stories…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or any of the characters. I do not own the song. It belongs to Poets of the Fall.**

Moonlight was cast into her room from the open window,creating shadows that danced along the edges of her vision as she gazed up at her ceiling. A breeze wafted In from her open window, softly caressing her cheek.

_'Every night…' _She missed him. Shutting her eyes tight, she tried to will the images to stop playing over in her mind. Memories… that's all they were. They were all that was left... and all that would ever be.

_Hear your heartbeat  
Beat a frantic pace  
And it's not even seven AM  
You're feeling the rush of anguish settling  
You cannot help showing them in_

She clutched her fist to her chest, trying to regain her composure.

'_Get it together…' _She didn't have a concept of time. Her phone lay face down at her side, and she felt no compulsion to check how she'd been torturing herself. Time didn't matter. This happened almost every night. She willed her sorrow-filled thoughts to leave her as she turned away from her window. Facing the wall, she was enamored with the drawings that littered the structure. _'Renamon…'_ Takato had given the poorly drawn sketches to her for her past birthday. Reaching over, she trailed her fingers down the crayon art. At the touch, disappointment shot into her fingertips and her arm dropped heavily. Of course it didn't feel anything like her fur. Why would it? It was a crappy drawing.

_Hurry up then  
Or you'll fall behind and  
They will take control of you  
And you need to heal the hurt behind your eyes  
Fickle words crowding your mind_

'_Daddy…' _She gulped back her tears and sat up, pushing her blankets off. Slowly, in a daze, she lifted herself from her futon and walked over to the pile of clothes that she had left strewn across a chair. Moving her shirt aside, she reached into her pants pocket and pulled out her pocket knife. _'What other choice do I have?' _She bit her lip as the blade flipped open and glinted as it caught the light.

_So  
Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in  
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within  
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in  
And carry you over to a new morning_

Her thoughts ran wild as she stared down the blade, feeling the cold metal on her skin. She hesitated, something inside her begging her to stop. Stop? _'What would it matter?' _The possibility of death was far from her mind as her body craved the physical pain, the bite of metal against her skin, anything but the un-ending sorrow that plagued her every thought and dream.

_Try as you might  
You try to give it up  
Seems to be holding on fast  
It's hand in your hand  
A shadow over you  
A beggar for soul in your face  
Still it don't matter if you won't listen  
If you won't let them follow you_

She slowly drew the blade across her wrist, biting down on her bottom lip to stop her cry of pain. The last thing she needed was her mother to run in and start fussing over her. She didn't understand how hard it was. It was always the same mindless chatter."Now, Ruki… I know it's hard without your father but you'll always have me!" with a desperate smile on her face and she would grimace in response. _'No, Mother. It's not the same! It's not!' _The blade cut a little deeper and she gasped.  
_  
You just need to heal  
Make good all your lies  
Move on and don't look behind_

The room swayed and she fell back on her bed, curling into ball. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes as she gazed back at her wall. Yet again, she reached up and ran her fingertips over a photo. _'Takato…Henry…Jeri…I'm sorry. I know I act so cold towards you…but can you understand this pain?´_ She flinched and looked to Jeri. _'Of course, you do, Jeri. You lost your mother but somehow it just doesn't seem the same… You let people in to help ease the pain. I just sit here and wallow in it.' _Her fingers glided further and lingered over the face of a spiky-haired boy. _'Ryo…'_

_So  
Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in  
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within  
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in  
And carry you over to a new morning_

She couldn't let her friends in on her pain. It wasn't her way. She was a closed book. Why should she open herself up to people that would eventually leave her behind with only memories. The wind howled, sending the tree swaying outside her window. She rolled over towards the sound and watched the shadows dance across her floor to an unheard melody.

_**Beep Beep Beep**_  
Her head snapped up at the sound of her phone and she reached towards the bright glow of the screen. _'What?' _  
**NEW TEXT MESSAGE**  
_'Who could possibly be awake at this hour?_' _  
_She scanned the text over and over, reading it out loud to make sure she wasn't losing it.  
**"Rika, are you okay?"**

How could Ryo know that she was having a hard time? _  
_Her phone _beep_-ed once more and she looked down, her eyes widening.  
"He's coming over…now?!"  
The room began to swim in and out of focus and the cellular device slipped out of her palm. She fell back as the room began to swirl.

_Day after day  
Fickle visions messing with your head  
Fickle, vicious_

She groaned, her head pounding and her wrist throbbing. What happened? She tried to open her eyes but everything began to spin. She shut them tight, waiting in an attempt to compose herself. After a few moments she slightly opened her eyes again, wincing as the room spun at a harsh speed. When the room came into focus, she had no clue as to what happened. Maybe she had fallen asleep? What was going on? She moved her arm only to feel it restricted. _'Huh?' _She looked over and noticed that her wrist was bandaged.

"Ruki…" She felt it then. Something warm was pressing upon her back and around her stomach. Turning her head ever so slightly, she caught a glimpse of her enemy His usual hairstyle was now lacking its usual amount of perk and lay limb, gently caressing his face. Freeing her arm, she tentatively reached out and brushed a stray lock from his forehead, Her brow furrowed as she searched his gaze,her hand sliding down to cup his cheek. She was taken aback by what she saw there; anger, hurt, and love. "Ryo…" she breathed out in a gasp. In shock, she moved to pull her hand away only to have the young boy clasp it in his own, bringing it to his lips.

_Sleeping in your bed  
Messing with your head  
Fickle visions  
Fickle, vicious:_

"How did you… When did you… How did you know…?" She was in shock. Did she pass out before he got here? A blush crept up her neck and her eyes widened as she realized that he had seen her at her lowest. He had seen something that no one else had known about. She wrenched away only to be pulled back against his hard chest.  
"I don't know how or why... but something told me that you needed me. I wish I had been here sooner." His gaze shifted to her wrist and he massaged his thumb over her palm.

_Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in  
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within_

"Ryo…" He placed his finger over her lips to stop her words. The way he looked at her made her heart beat faster. There was something about his stare that made her feel ashamed and oddly comfortable with it. He turned her and she felt a pressure on the back of her head as he guided her towards the crook of his neck.

"Don't say anything. I don't care why you did it, but Ruki…next time, please, just call me. I'll be here as soon as I can- no matter what. I promise." Tears pricked her eyes and she burrowed further into his neck and let out a sob. "It's okay, Wild Cat. You don't need to hide anymore…"

It felt good to be able to cry and that's what she did. She let all her pain out as he held her. Eventually, she let out a yawn, her tears dried up, and Ryo kissed her forehead, a small smile on his lips.

The last thing she heard before sleep crept up and stole her away was the boy humming to her.  
He stayed with her that night, the moonlight bathing them in its light, rejuvenating them for the morrow. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the red-head with the fiery temper knew that she would never inflict pain upon herself again… not when she had Ryo to turn to.  
_  
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in  
And carry you over to a new morning_


End file.
